Many of the most brillant minds in the world struggle to explain love, but i feel this long quote best sums it up. "Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. - Captain Corelli's Mandolin. "Love is the beauty of the soul." Interestingly what do you think happens when a breakup occurs? Lightning struck the tree, splitting it into 2 halves, leaving the regions struck burnt and charred never to heal again?
Breakups are commonplace, but reasons behind them are fast becoming varied. According to the equity theory, individuals seek to maintain a balance of costs and rewards, and this balance is supposedly there to maintain the long-term stability of the relationship. Of course the rewards and costs we are talking about could be both tangible, and non-tangible but it really does make people wonder if getting into a relationship's feasible. For one's liken to be investing in a bond with a lifelong maturity period. If it works out some intrinsic benefits such as offsprings, company, etc could be derived, however in the event that the relationship does not work out, is the opportunity cost viable? Can the time, effort, and money spent be written off as well spent? Is the pain, disillusion, loss of self esteem etc worth what the experience? That might come across to many as being mercenary, but think about it is protecting one's rights ever wrong? Is that not what many have set out to achieve in life? To remain single in hopes of protecting one from the pain and the failures associated with an unsuccessful relationship, is that a blessing or a regret?
Personally, I have not actually experienced a breakup yet but from experiences of friends, it does sound like a bitter pill to swallow especially more so if it involves a third party. Will complete this entry if it ever occurs but i'm hoping i'll be able to keep this entry sort of incomplete for now. =)
Love is something beyond the grasp of normal human beings i would say... Its too complicated to fully understand. I agree that love = earthquake. You wont know when the eruption will come.
ReplyDeleteBut however, u can take precautions n measures. In a relationship, take steps do not rush it through or it may end up in a breakup. That will not feel good definitely. You may want to apply the Knapp model haha... yups.
for more details proceed to my blog =)
Love is like playing the piano, first you must learn to play by the rules, then you forget the rules and play from your heart. It is hard to understand i could say. Many including me, may not fully understand what love is. There are different kind like with families member that you don't have a choice but learn how to love one another in aspect of everything.
ReplyDeleteThere are many different kinds of love in this world. Parental love, romantic love, love between siblings, love between friends etc. However it all boils down to one thing, which is unconditional love.
ReplyDeleteLove can be passionate or it can be dull. Passionate love will be more exciting and more engaging, but hard to sustain and die out quicker compared to a dull relationship in which it is slower paced and probably more placid.
However, in both cases both parties could still be deeply attached to each other and live happily together forever, or end up separate given time.
I believe everyone seeks to find their soulmate. One wonders, without love, what exactly is there to live for? It is only through giving and recieving unconditional love that one feels having led a life fulfilled.
I guess our current love state is an instrumental bias on how we define love. For how many times have we (in general) thought that love is THE most wonderful thing on Earth only to have that illusion shattered after yet another heartbreak.
ReplyDeleteAnd no matter how many times our own illusions of finally being with THE ONE are broken we are drawn to the cycle of loving again and being loved. I think that we were born to love and be loved.
Also, we just don't fall in love for the sake of feeling. I believe that falling in love entails a silent compromise of sharing oneself with the other. As we live in the real world and not in fairy tales, we know that not everyone come to live happily after. Hurt is part of loving. You take that risk and somehow it's what makes it more special and real.
The person who decides not to fall in love for fear of pain and loss is losing much of life.
It's not always about the tears and the pain. If you don't fall in love, you miss the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach, smiles that lit up your eyes, heart beats so fast that it terrifies you, being in a dazed state all day, not having the silent satisfaction knowing that somewhere, somehow another person is reciprocating the exact same feeling.
But then again, I might just be biased. :)
I believe the problem is many people do not understand the true meaning of love. Love involves being unconditional. You can't say I'll only love you if you convert to my religion or buy me branded presents. Love involves 2 people to be together and that is always trying. No 2 people are 100% alike and there are always going to be conflicts. The question is whether you love the other person enough to work to fix the problem so you can stay together. For example, a mother's love. Regardless of how her son may scold her or disbehave, she does not throw him out on his sorry butt or sell him for 5cents to the garang guni as she always threatens.
ReplyDeleteBtw, in regards to the lightning striking the tree example, remember this very popular phrase: Time heals ALL wounds.
It's possible that we all have different notions of love, just like how it's possible that we have different sensations of the colour blue.
ReplyDeleteHehe I like the usage of 'unconditional' in front of love! Come on people tell me how many of you have practiced it? Why is it often referred to as the ultimate act of love? When you don't get what you want and then both parties end up regretting at some stage in their lives when they find out the truth? How can it be termed as 'love' when it is unrequited?(With one exception read on to find out) Can you actually love 'somebody' when that somebody doesn't have the same feelings towards you? Is this some sort of a glorified excuse with regards to giving up the girl/guy of your dreams? In terms of passion rom, is that always the case? Perhaps expectations by the other party will run rampant, but I'm sure that some degree of appreciation, and most definitely understanding will exist, especially when one is incapable of replicating the feat? If she/he needs to be constantly surprised, in order for the relationship to progress, is this a relationship that will last in the very first place?
ReplyDeleteHeh Moo did your mum threaten you with those kinda things when you do something wrong last time? =D sounds funny lol! But I feel that with regards to parental love, it's a totally different sort of love. This is probably the only existing unrequisted love in the world. Probably because children are more often than not viewed as an extension of their parents... What say you?
I so love the chosen definition of love by kelvin! yeah, agree, there's a really big difference between love and being in love... There is one big factor for me to maintain a good relationship. That is respect your partner, then everything else follows like trust, loyalty, etc.
ReplyDeleteI've been is so many break ups. Most of them are caused by immaturity by one or both involved.
Now, Im in another relationship, but different one. Long distance relationship requires more effort than the usual. It's time demanding (skype open 24 hrs even both or one is not home), phone bill's so high, requires a lot of trust and patience as well. I could say that Im both in love and im loving someone. A great feeling. Hopefully, will not get to that break up part again ever!
p.s. I hope the same with my fatty!